Movie's Message is one of Hope or a False Sense of Security?

This weekend, I saw the movie "Like Dandelion Dust," a movie  about Wendy, played by Mira Sorvino, and her ex-felon husband, Barry Pepper, trying to get back their son she gave up for adoption. Wendy does so while her husband Rip was serving prison time for committing domestic violence against her. Naturally, in true Hollywood-story form, he comes out a changed man determined to have the family he always wanted. Because of a glitch, the state of Ohio begins transitioning their son, Joey, from his adoptive parents back to them. Unfortunately, things don't work out the way Rip had planned. Joey has great, wealthy adoptive parents who love him and who he loves. It’s also apparent Rip has no parenting skills.

What I want to focus on is Wendy. Waiting for Rip after his last prison wake-up, she is the classic battered woman. When he's first released and sober, Wendy believes he is a changed man. He takes her out dancing, finds a job, paints Joey's room and toasts the finished room with grape juice.

But I see it as the honeymoon phase of the cycle of abuse. Wendy has hope. She forgets that seven years prior came a build-up of tension then explosion: Rip losing his cool and using her face as a punching bag. 

This is a common scenario for many battered women. Alcohol or drugs are often involved when an explosion happens. They think if you remove the alcohol and drugs, the violence will stop. The only problem with that is the tendency to control another with violence exists without the drugs and alcohol. Of all the times I've enjoyed an adult beverage or two or more, I've never once put my hands on anyone. In fact, I know several people who don't assault their loved ones when they drink, nor when they're sober. I also know of plenty of sober people abusing other people.

What I appreciate about the script is when Rip can't cope with the fact he's not ready to be a father and hits Wendy again or grabs Joey's arm because Joey won't "obey" him, he's not intoxicated. Not that I'm happy he hit Wendy or hurt Joey, but this scene demonstrates that abusive behavior is born out of one's lack of coping skills rather than alcohol.

What I don't like is Wendy, with her bruised face, thinks this won't happen again and Rip's good heart will prevail with some pastoral counseling. It's the honeymoon again. Hopefully, it will be the last time, but is living on hope safe? DV advocates warn their clients about hope because it gives DV victims a false sense of security. Some think people deserve a second chance. We love a comeback but DV victims often don’t realize that a second chance may be lethal.

The movie ends with the audience thinking Rip will indeed change…even more... and be the father he wants to be. Do you think this is safe?



Check out the trailer for "Like Dandelion Dust" in theaters now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SI6lftXrI0