My experience with abuse

I asked from any readers feedback about their experience with domestic violence or dating violence. But maybe its time to share mine.

My dad was an alcoholic and emotionally and verbally abusive to my mother. I never saw him put his hands on my mother, but as an adult, my mother has eluded to him physically hurting her. I always thought if he just wouldn't drink, he might be an okay dad. When he was sober, he wasn't too bad. He taught me how to pitch, shoot a basketball, throw a tight spiral and compete with any neighborhood boy. But when he was drunk, he was emotionally tormented and took it out on me and my family. I always wished my parents would divorce.

My mom stayed married to him for 21 years until when I was 17, she divorced him. What was the beginning of the end was a few months prior to her separating from him, my mother told him she wanted to leave him. The next day was "Take Your Daughter to Work Day." My sister and I went with my mom. The entire morning, my dad called her over and over again. By about 10 am, we had to leave. When we got home, my dad was a mess. He threatened to kill himself. I took all his Busch Beer and poured it out.

My mom was pretty good about shielding my sister and I from him. She made us go over to my grandparents who lived next door while she dealt with him. I feared what was happening to him. Then, I just went numb. In fact, going numb and disconnecting emotionally has been a hard habit to break for me. Luckily, I have always landed on my feet whenever I've stumbled in live. Love, support and counseling has helped.

My sister though has not faired so well. She started using drugs around 14 and hasn't really stopped since. She's been in and out of the corrections system and drug rehab programs. Her relationships with both of my parents are tense. Her relationships in general are also marked with abuse. I can't help but think the domestic violence is partly responsible for her struggles with drugs and life.

The point is, abuse effects kids. Some people end up turning to drugs. I was an honor's role student and over achiever in school, but it still effected me in my relationships. I then found myself living with someone who was controlling and tore me down on a daily basis because I said something the wrong way, didn't put my shoes away or misplaced the remote control.